Somnium of Nex
by Kulmanari
Summary: The human mind is an amazing thing, especially how it deals with death. This is the story of how Cody Martin deals with the aftermath of a horrible tragedy that he can never truly escape from.
1. Survivor's Guilt

**Chapter 1**

**"Survivor's Guilt"  
**

_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars  
Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are  
As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost  
Wake me up when September ends_

"_Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day_

Cody cinched his backpack tighter around his right shoulder to give himself a moment to think. Stapled on the information board in his homeroom class was a bright yellow piece of paper announcing that volleyball tryouts would be held at the end of the week. He had never really been good at sports, but he was finally starting to feel encumbered by the weight of his academic pursuits and wanted to do something to release his pent up energy. He needed a release.

"You should try out Cody," Barbara Brownstein said, coming up beside him. She kept a slight distance between them, still unsure of how he was feeling given all that had happened. Then there was the matter of her having gotten involved with his friend Bob while Cody was away at Seven Seas High School on board the S.S. Tipton. She had made repeated attempts to be nice to him ever since he'd returned and was trying to rekindle some of their old friendship. He decided to take her tone of voice and support at face value.

"I'd just embarrass myself," Cody admitted, thinking of how poor he was at all sports. At least volleyball wasn't a contact sport so he could be good at it given enough practice. His itching desire to do something physical was starting to overcome his self doubt. How hard could it be really?

"You'll do fine." Barbara tentatively rested her hand on his shoulder, smiling softly at him. An impulse passed through his body, one that he had to resist acting upon, as he looked at her lovely face. Her raven black hair seemed to have a soft glow coming from it and her warm brown eyes looked at him full of concern. He wanted to kiss her, like he had in the days before he'd left to travel the world abroad, but that just wasn't allowed anymore. She was going out with Bob now and Cody's heart had been stolen by a smart, funny, lovely and down to earth girl from a small town in Kansas.

"Couldn't hurt to try…" Cody finally gave in, momentarily distracted by the thought of Bailey Pickett's lips pressed against his own which always sent an electric tingle racing down his spine and warmed his entire body. He wished that she were here now so that he could hold her in his arms and give her his love, but Bailey had gone back home and as such she was over a thousand miles away.

"Cody?" He was snapped out of his daydream by Barbara's worried prompting. Cody was prone to zoning out at times and also having strange dreams when he fell asleep during some of his more boring classes. It was so unlike him, but nothing was the same after leaving his old life behind on the S.S. Tipton.

"I'm fine," He reassured her, committing the time and date of the tryouts to memory and promising himself that he'd be there. She turned to leave, but stopped and looked back at him.

"If there's anything I can do Cody…" She started, but he interrupted her with a dismissive hand gesture.

"I'm fine, really." Barbara gave him a hard look and then accepted his reassurances. She left and Cody jammed his hands into his pockets as the bell rang. He let out a deep sigh as he mentally prepared himself to face another long day.

* * *

Gloomy darkness pressed in upon him, the only light was a murky green glow coming through a porthole that was too small to escape through. The ocean poured in from some distant source, filling the hallway with salt water that chilled him to the bone. It was so cold that it had stolen his breath and he gasped desperately for air. He was dog paddling to stay afloat, his feet unable to touch the floor below, and kept his head above water in the air pocket at the top of the hallway.

"Zack!" Cody cried out, his lungs burning from the sudden expenditure of what little breath he had. The ship tilted and started to roll to one side forcing the water to smack against his head in little waves. He sputtered as he nearly swallowed several gulps of sea water. He was quite aware of the fact that the air pocket was growing smaller.

"I'm here!" Zack's voice cut through the darkness. He sounded afraid, but was trying to remain calm and keep his head on his shoulders. His brother was somewhere to his right and Cody turned to locate the source of his voice.

"Keep talking, I'm coming!" Cody swam as best as one could considering that he couldn't see where he was going in search of Zack.

"We've got to get out of here buddy!" Cody followed the source of his brother's voice and eventually bumped into him. One of Zack's hands closed around his arm and dragged him through the darkness.

"There's an open hatch down here, it leads out to the deck." Cody could see that the water below him was a brighter shade of green murkiness, it must be the open hatch. "You go first," Zack prompted him. He wanted to argue, wanted to tell Zack to go first, but then he just realized that it would be a waste of time trying to get his stubborn brother to do that. Time they didn't have Cody realized as he heard a terrible groan echo through the ship followed by the sound of screeching metal.

Cody took a deep breath and dove down into the dark ocean, feeling out with his hands for the frame of the hatch. He felt Zack's hand fall between his shoulder blades and guide him forward and then there was a muted splashing noise as he followed Cody underwater. His lungs were already starting to burn and the cold was robbing him of all his strength. They must be through the hatch by now…but which way was up?

Somebody started shaking him, gently moving his shoulder side to side. Someone was calling his name, but Zack couldn't be speaking underwater…That was impossible, wasn't it? His whole world fell away and with a start Cody jerked awake. He had dozed off in his calculus class and now his teacher was standing over him trying to rouse him from the nightmare memory that he had been reliving once again. His whole class was watching silently.

"Sorry…" Cody mumbled, head still in a daze. Mrs. Sullivan smiled warmly at him, she wasn't mad that he had fallen asleep. Not only had Cody been her best student before and after Seven Seas High, but she knew full well what he was going through and gave him his space in addition to a great helping of patience.

"Go ahead and copy down the homework assignment," She said, gesturing at one side of the blackboard, "And then you can go outside for some fresh air if you want to." Cody thanked his teacher, scribbled down the assignment, shoved his book into his backpack and quietly left the room, aware of all the stares he was receiving. Then again he was used to it, having once been the dorky nerd. Now he was the quiet one suffering from clinical depression, suicidal thoughts and horrible nightmares.

Out in the hallway it was quiet, but Cody could feel the charged atmosphere since the day was just minutes away from being over. Soon the hallway would be filled by throngs of students hurrying to get home or go do some fun after school activity. He'd rather not be there when everyone came rushing out. It was more trouble than it was worth so he simply walked off campus. No one bothered to stop him, the school's security and staff were used to the seniors leaving early to help ease the inevitable traffic jam that would eventually happen and Cody could almost pass for one.

The Tipton Hotel was home once again, his mother Carey Martin still worked there as the cabaret singer and room and board were a part of her contract. After a year at sea, Cody realized just how much he'd missed the place and his old life that was so closely tied to it. The first stable home he and Zack had had in their entire lives. They had lived there since they were twelve and then they had lived aboard the S.S. Tipton for a year just before they had turned sixteen.

Cody walked home through the business district, completely self absorbed in his own thoughts as he let his feet pick the path home on their own without any thought from him. He contemplated catching the downtown metro bus, but it was only two miles to the Tipton. A long walk and some fresh air would probably do him some good. Just what the doctor ordered.

He groaned, suddenly remembering that he had an appointment today. How had he forgotten about that? Cody turned back around and started heading back to school where his mother was going to pick him up and take him there.

Cody stepped out into the cross walk, ignoring the bright orange hand on the crosswalk signal telling him not to step out into traffic. He paid the price as a delivery truck driver who wasn't paying close attention or just didn't expect anyone to step out into traffic slammed into him. Pain exploded through his body as he bounced off the hood and went airborne for a few seconds before slamming into the hard unforgiving pavement. It felt like every bone in his body was broken and he lay in a pool of blood staring up at the sky, wishing that the end would come quickly.

Sighing in annoyance Cody shook off the fantasy that his mind had engineered, watched the delivery truck pass by him and then made his way across the intersection as the signal turned into the white stick figure. He often saw things like that, his mind would dream up several interesting ways for him to die every week, but Cody never gave into the impulses. Still, he had confided in his mother about these suicidal thoughts in a rare moment of openness when he had wanted to talk to her and that, on top of what had already happened, made her seek out professional help for him.

* * *

"The Doctor will see you now." The polite middle aged receptionist emerged from Dr. Calloway's office and held the door open inviting Cody inside. He looked up from the National Geographic magazine that he was reading at the woman. Carey Martin grabbed a hold of Cody's right hand with both of hers, gave it a little reassuring squeeze and then kissed him on the cheek.

"What's that for?" Cody wondered aloud in puzzlement as he stood up, his mother's hands falling away.

"Love you honey," She answered simply as Cody was led into the Doctor's office and then left alone with him. Calloway was your picture perfect psychiatrist, an old man with graying hair, intense blue eyes and dressed in an old gray suit that belonged from another generation. His office was pretty spartan as well, devoid of dangerous objects or suggestive material in case a patient got violent. Cody had never had a severe emotional outburst in the Doctor's presence before in the previous two visits, but he always ended up storming out believing that this man was just full of it.

"Hello Cody. Have a seat won't you?" Calloway gestured to the stereotypical reclined chair with enough room for him to stretch out his long legs comfortably. He made himself comfortable and mentally resigned himself to cooperate as best as possible and keep his cool. There were two desirable outcomes he wished for, one was that there might be some slim chance that this man could help him, but the other was that if he was a 'good little boy' he wouldn't have to come here any more. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Cody automatically lied, feeling the emotions and memories suppressed with a great force of willpower stir inside of him. Calloway frowned and then shook his head in such a manner that he was reminded of an adult politely telling a child that they were wrong about something.

"You're not fine young man. You've been through a lot. Shall we begin?"

"Sure," Cody agreed.

"Are you still having the nightmares?" Cody nodded and Calloway pressed on in the familiar routine, "What about the thoughts of hurting yourself?" It was a moment before he answered as Cody considered what he should tell him. In the end it was the truth.

"They come and go. In fact it happened to me just before I came here…"

"Tell me about it." Calloway leaned forward in interest.

"I was walking home because I forgot about this appointment and then when I remembered I turned around to go back to school and meet up with my mom. I crossed into the road right into oncoming traffic and was hit by a truck."

"I see."

"What does that mean?"

"Cody. I believe that your sub conscious mind is trying to express something to you. As you are right now, it's obvious that your mind is conjuring up these suicidal images for a reason."

"Which is?"

"Your mind is showing you your death in many ways because you haven't let it properly grieve and move on. You're suffering from survivor's guilt,"

"I am not!" Cody protested weakly, knowing the truth of Calloway's diagnosis. He was holding in so much and he was always thinking about how unfair the universe was.

"You're asking yourself why you had the right to live and he didn't. You're wishing that you had either escaped together or died alongside of him. You're even wishing that it could have been you instead of him. But worst of all, you're wondering, 'why me?', 'why do I deserve to live?'" Calloway corrected him in a firm grave voice, the truth of his words hitting home with resounding bangs.

Silence…Then finally…

"I guess you're right."

"The best thing for you to do right now Cody is to let yourself grieve at home and find something to take your mind off of what happened during the day. Something like playing a sport, getting involved in the community or hanging out with your friends."

"I was thinking about trying out for volleyball…?"

"Perfect. Some physical exercise is just the sort of thing that you need, plus you're bound to make some friends on the team and get invited into their social circles every now and then which will help you get back to being comfortable when dealing with other people."

The meeting with Dr. Calloway lasted about twenty more minutes where he worked with Cody about his emotional control, making it clear that he needed to grieve in order to flush out all of the negative thoughts and make headway on clearing up his depression. He suggested that Cody take the next day off of school which Carey also had off, being in the middle of the week, and let go of everything while she was there to watch over him and offer comfort. Calloway also couldn't seem to emphasize enough that Cody needed to find things to keep his mind and body busy when he wasn't grieving to help him recover. He explained it as, 'If you do nothing and let yourself feel depressed all of the time, then you will always be depressed. Your wheels will just keep spinning in the mud and you'll get nowhere'.

After Cody left the doctor's office his mother went in for a short briefing of instructions on how to help him get better. The receptionist sitting at the desk nearby smiled warmly at him and offered him a peppermint candy sitting in the crystal bowl of goodies on her desk. Cody decided that there was no harm in acting on the impulse and took one, thanking the nice lady. He rolled the peppermint across his tongue back and forth from cheek to cheek, enjoying its powerful refreshing taste as memories started coming to him. Memories set free by the thought of candy, specifically the hordes of chocolate that he and Zack used to buy from Maddie at the candy counter when they were younger. With a sudden abruptness the memories ceased as Cody slammed his mind shut, keeping the flood of images, sounds and smells out of his consciousness.

Carey soon emerged from the doctor's office carrying a slip of white paper, frowning when she met his accusing eyes. Had it finally come to the point where they would try to solve his problems by using drugs?

"What is it?" Cody grumbled, wringing his hands for lack of anything better to do with them as he was unable to sit still now.

"Anti-Depressant, sixty capsules to be taken once a day for two months after breakfast starting the day after tomorrow," Carey answered, not bothering to deceive him with misinformation to make him feel better about the situation. She knew that he was too intelligent to be easily fooled. Cody had thought that this meeting with the doctor had gone pretty well, all things considered, and had exited the office feeling a small glimmer of hope. Now he just felt empty.

"Happy pills…" Cody corrected his mother, getting up to leave resigning himself to having to put up with the drugs for the next two months. He wondered how well they would work.

* * *

**A/N:** This is my newest side project which has been taking up most of my creative thoughts. I didn't want to publish it until I had a second chapter written and a third one in the works to make sure that it was just a passing interest. This story borrows a little bit from the never revealed end plot of 'Just Visiting'. This story, unlike my other ones, is completely cannon up to the beginning of the story (Season 1-3 TSLOZAC and Season 1 TSLOD occurred). This story picks up after summer break somewhere in Season 2, but after the Crossover episode it has nothing to do anymore with TSLOD's plot (I just wanted to provide a time frame).

This is also a new writing technique that I'm trying out, letting the reader observe and piece together what is eating at Cody rather than having him openly tell them.

I hope you all liked this first chapter and my portrayal of a depressed Cody, please review =)


	2. Tryouts

**Chapter 2**

**"Tryouts"  
**

_I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted  
Surrender to nothing, I'll give up what I  
Started and stop this, from end to beginning  
A new day is calling, and I am finally free_

_"Attack" by 30 Seconds To Mars_

It was the day after he'd followed Doctor Calloway's instructions that found Cody back at school on Friday afternoon feeling like a different person. It was hard to explain really. He had felt numb and heavy before he released his self control over his emotions, reluctantly at first, and then after hours of crying, screaming and fitful naps born of exhaustion Cody felt extra sensitive to the world around him and much lighter. He felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders, allowing him to breathe normally for a change, although that could just be the happy pill doing its thing. He'd started taking them this morning, though he wasn't exactly sure if it was working yet.

Cody looked around the cafeteria, isolated in his own little island of self absorption existing at normal speed as people moved all around him so fast they seemed to be nothing more than blurs of color. His eyes were still raw from crying, they were even a shade redder than normal though no one had said anything about it yet. He wasn't really hungry, but he knew that he should have something to hold him over until dinner so Cody ended up hopping in a short line and bought ranch Doritos and a bottle of soda.

There was a long period of time where Cody just sat alone at an outdoor table munching on his chips and people watching everyone around him. Nobody liked being at school, but during this short amount of leisure time they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. He envied their happiness and carefree attitudes.

He should have sat with his old friends today to stem the feelings of loneliness permeating his emotional center but he had told them when he first came back to school that he just needed some space. Their pity and concern for his well being had been stifling before, but perhaps now it would be a welcome thing. Cody glanced around for his group of friends, intending to join them, but was distracted by the vibration of the phone in his left front pocket. Only his mother called him when he was at school to check up on him, he wondered what she wanted.

Cody's heart skipped a beat when he saw who was calling and nearly dropped his phone in his haste to answer. He hadn't heard from her in days and he was anxious to hear her voice. Bailey Pickett, his one time girlfriend on the S.S. Tipton, had been a bit withdrawn after they had returned to the States and he still wasn't sure if or how they would continue their relationship.

"Hi Bailey!" He greeted, a smile creeping onto his face as he imagined her talking to him from her small town in Kansas.

"Hey Cody! Sorry I haven't called lately," Bailey apologized.

"That's ok, I'm glad you called. I miss you so much." Cody took notice of everyone around him starting to pack up and leave as the warning bell sounded indicating that classes were about to resume. He didn't care though, being late to class was the least of his worries. He wouldn't even get a detention for such a thing, not Cody Martin the perfect student and definitely not Cody Martin the troubled young man who frequently visited a psychiatrist, the school counselor and took anti-depressants.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," He lied in his characteristic fashion, wondering why it was so hard for him to tell anyone how he actually felt.

"Cody Martin!" Bailey snapped at him. Man she was sexy when she was angry Cody remembered, "Don't you lie to me."

"Sorry, it's just that I…um…" The proper words to explain to her what he had endured yesterday eluded him.

"Your mom called me, she said you could use a friend right now."

"My mom called you?" Cody felt a flash of anger crawl across his skin. How could his mother share his personal business with Bailey?

"Oh don't get your pants in a twist, she only asked me to call you," Bailey playfully scolded him. He suddenly felt embarrassed about being mad at his mom…Of course Carey wouldn't have discussed his grieving session with Bailey, it would have only hurt him and she was doing her best to help overcome this hard time.

"Thanks…I've really been kind of down lately. They've got me taking anti-depressants now."

"Oh Cody, I wish I could be there for you right now…" With that sentiment, Cody and Bailey launched into a long conversation about how they were both feeling, what they were doing in school, how their hobbies were going and coming up with ideas how to see each other.

* * *

School was over for the week and most of the students were headed home to enjoy their weekend. Cody wasn't among them this time though. He had just entered the gym from the locker room, freshly changed into his gym clothes, and looked around for a moment at the handful of people inside. There were about a dozen or more people sitting up in the bleachers chatting with each other and on the court there was a group of boys Cody's age, mostly seniors and juniors, milling about bouncing a volleyball between them. His apprehension about sports was missing and in its place was a charged energy filling him from head to toe with barely contained power, making him feel light as air and ready to start playing.

"Sup man, what's your name?" One of the seniors asked, approaching Cody with a clipboard in his hand. He was about half a head taller than him with straight black hair that was buzzed close to his head, almost like a military haircut and had strikingly bright blue eyes.

"Cody Martin." The senior checked his name off the clipboard and then gave him a hard look for a moment before shrugging and introducing himself. Cody had seen that look before…Most of his fellow students knew what had happened.

"Matt Pelky, I'm the team captain. Go ahead and play up front, let's see what you've got." He indicated the closer side of the net where there was a gap dead center at the front where the two teams were about to play each other six on six. Cody filled the gap, feeling nervous about his lack of experience and knowledge.

"You good at spiking?" The guy on Cody's right asked. He was as tall as Matt, but his sandy brown hair was longer and his eyes were a light brown color.

"Um…not really," Cody answered, unsure of what spiking was but not keen on admitting it.

"Ok, you just set me then if it comes near us and I'll spike it." Cody nodded, hoping that he'd have some time to observe the other players before he would have to do anything. Matt called out everyone's names to make sure they were still there and ready to play before signaling them to start. He sat down on the bottom row of the bleachers between both teams and watched.

"Let's do this," The boy on Cody's right, Adam as Matt had called him during roll a moment ago, said in anticipation as he cracked his knuckles. The ball was served behind and to Cody's left, sailing over the net into the middle of the back row where it was returned in a high arc back over the net plummeting straight toward Cody. What was he supposed to do? Hit it back? Set it? Spike it? He had no idea! Figuring that he better do something, he took a half step backwards and raised his palms open handed and bounced the ball back into the air. It drifted right, but didn't go back over the net. The sting of failure bit him, had he royally screwed up already?

Then, out of nowhere, Adam was a foot off the ground and his right hand smashed into the ball sending it in a sharp dive back over the net completely avoiding the player opposite Adam who was trying to block the shot. He landed, knees flexing to absorb the impact, as the ball made a satisfying smacking noise as it hit the court between two other players who hadn't expected the sudden attack.

"Spike! Point!" Matt called, getting up and moving slowly around the assembled players.

"Nice set man, just let me know when you're gonna do that next time," Adam congratulated him. Rather than messing up as he had feared, Cody had played an instrumental part in making their first point. A giddy happiness spread through him as he tasted the incredible flavor of success. After another serve where the back row's on both teams lobbied the ball back and forth before the opposing side spiked it into them, Cody learned that all he'd needed to do before was simply tell Adam or the guy on his left "spike!" to warn them.

The other team's spike came fast and brutal, but Cody judged where it was going and dived in front of it not knowing how he was going to stop it. The ball glanced off his left hand and unfortunately didn't bounce back very high in the air. He scrambled to get back to his feet, the sting of the spike radiating a dull pain in his wrist, and was surprise when the player on Cody's left crouched down and saved the ball by slapping it over his head and behind him. The server intercepted and pushed it over to Adam's corner where he hit it in a line drive at the opposing server's feet. Point!

"Good save Cody," Adam nodded to him, and the other guy on the front line also congratulated him.

"You're good at spiking huh?" Cody asked, somewhat envious of Adam's ability to jump up so high and hammer the ball into the other team.

"Yeah, I was on the team last year. I'll help you with your spike if we both make the team."

"Sounds good!" Cody was already enjoying himself and he wouldn't mind some help improving his game. He briefly wondered if he was feeling so happy because he'd found a sport that he was good at or if it was his happy pills hard at work. It didn't matter in the end, he was happy.

Over the next hour and a half Matt rotated them through all of the positions and Cody found that he had a lot of work to do. He was good at returning the ball from anywhere on the court, setting the ball, saving the ball and blocking spikes with his height, but his own spikes and serving ability left much to be desired. He barely served over the net sometimes, and often went out of bounds with poorly aimed hits. His spikes didn't carry the same devastating power as Adam's and were more easily blocked and saved. Still, he felt like he hadn't done too shabby and was a little bit bummed when Matt called an end to the tryouts.

Cody sat down with the rest of the hopefuls on the bottom of the bleachers, feeling the heat radiating up from his chest and the sweat running down his face, waiting to hear how they had all done. He wasn't breathing too hard, which was a nice change from other sports, but he did feel the soreness in his wrists and ankles from the movements that his body was unaccustomed to. Adam told him to make sure that he took a good hot shower after getting home to relax the sore muscles and then ice his wrists and ankles to recover.

"Alright guys, not bad at all. Much better tryouts than last year's," Matt joked, sharing a smile with the others who had been on the team the previous year. He then proceeded to list the names of the tentative starting lineup. Cody was feeling let down when he learned that he hadn't made the list, then he brightened when Matt called out the list of the reserve players and Cody learned that he was the number one alternate. Adam, who of course had gained one of the starting positions, clapped him on the back and congratulated him.

"Welcome to the team Cody," Matt said as the rest of the players started leaving, extending his hand, "You did really good today, all you need to do to make starter is work on your serve and spike. Jason isn't much better than you on that, and to be honest I'd rather have you on the front line. You're more of a team player than he is."

"I'll help him with that," Adam offered and Matt nodded in agreement. Cody felt elated at having done so well, having the confidence of others in his ability to play and the acceptance onto the team.

"Oh hey…" Matt seemed to remember something just as he was about to turn and head into the locker room, "There's a party at my place tomorrow evening for the whole team. You're more than welcome to stop by Cody." He'd been invited to a real party? Cody almost felt like he was going to burst with joy. He'd actually been invited to hang out with the rest of the team on the weekend…

"Sure, I'll be there!" Cody stammered, trying to keep the surprise from leaking into his voice. He didn't want to scare them off by sounding like a crazed social outcast suddenly thrust into the center of the cool crowd. Adam offered to give him a ride too, since he only lived a half dozen blocks from the Tipton.

Without further ado the three of them went into the locker room. Cody pulled off his sweat soaked gym shirt and dried himself off with a towel before changing into his normal clothes that he'd worn all day, a loose fitting black t-shirt and long khaki colored shorts. Gone was the vest look and the nerdy attire, he promised himself to dress in a more casual and acceptable way now. Adam stopped by after Cody had finished changing and saw him pull out a golden chain with a small locket attached to it, place it around his neck and then tuck it under his shirt.

"What's that?"

"It's a reminder," Cody said simply, feeling at ease talking to Adam about it. Normally Cody wouldn't answer or he would tell people to mind their own business, but he felt a connection with his fellow player. It was almost as if they were already friends. Adam didn't probe any further, accepting Cody's mystical answer at face value.

"Oh. Well anyway, I'll swing by tomorrow at five with my girlfriend. You bringing anyone?" Cody briefly imagined Bailey going with him to the party and then shook off that fantasy.

"No, my girlfriend is in Kansas."

"Oh ok, no problem. See you tomorrow dude," Adam bade him farewell and headed out of the locker room.

"Yup, you too." Cody went outside and eventually found his mother waiting for him in the parking lot. He felt like he was on cloud nine right now, everything was going right for a change and he was happy. That night, Cody would have a lot to talk about with Carey and for the first time in over a month it wouldn't be the usual depressing stuff.

* * *

** A/N:** Well Cody finally feels like he's fitting in and is starting to move on with his life. Be happy for him! Any guesses about Cody's locket (to be explained later)?

Hope you enjoyed! Please review =)

(A&D and Reflections are still both stalled atm, but Somnium has another chapter almost completed.)


	3. The Party

**Chapter 3**

**"The Party"**

_It was the wicked and wild wind  
Blew down the doors to let me in  
Shattered windows and the sound of drums  
People couldn't believe what I'd become_

_"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay_

"There's an open hatch down here, it leads out to the deck." Cody could see that the water below him was a brighter shade of green murkiness, it must be the open hatch. "You go first," Zack prompted him. He wanted to argue, wanted to tell Zack to go first, but then he just realized that it would be a waste of time trying to get his stubborn brother to do that. Time they didn't have Cody realized as he heard a terrible groan echo through the ship followed by the sound of screeching metal.

Cody took a deep breath and dove down into the dark ocean, feeling out with his hands for the frame of the hatch. He felt Zack's hand fall between his shoulder blades and guide him forward and then there was a muted splashing noise as he followed Cody underwater. His lungs were already starting to burn and the cold was robbing him of all his strength. They must be through the hatch by now…but which way was up?

He looked around in desperation, the saltwater stinging his eyes, hoping to see something that would give him a clue as to which direction the surface was. Zack suddenly appeared beside him, grabbed Cody's right hand with his left and pointed with his free hand. Following the direction Zack was pointing in Cody saw a fuzzy grey light, probably the full moon shrouded by the heavy cloud cover over the ocean and immediately started kicking his feet to swim up to the surface. It was hard work, his water logged clothes weighed heavily upon his body and his sneakers felt like lead weights attached to his feet.

His right arm was suddenly tugged downward and Cody glanced at his brother, horrified to see Zack struggling weakly to keep swimming. The surface didn't seem that far away, but it might as well have been a mile away. Pain constricted Cody's chest, it felt like he was burning up from the lack of oxygen and his extremities had gone cold and numb. His arms and legs responded with agonizing slowness and seemed to drain all of his energy as he struggled to keep swimming upward, dragging Zack up with him. Blackness edged his vision and the world started slipping away…

Cody sat bolt upright in his bed, his skin drenched in sweat, breathing heavily and looking wildly around his bedroom. It was just the usual nightmare…He was safe in his bed at the Tipton Hotel. He exhaled deeply in frustration and fell back on his bed, head plopping down on the pillow. He lay there for a few minutes feeling the adrenaline course through him briefly before settling, leaving him feeling empty and worn out.

After forcing the nightmare from his thoughts, Cody got out of bed and opened his bedroom door to peer out into the living room. It was still early and his mother wasn't awake yet which was a good thing for him. He didn't want her to see him like this again, drenched in sweat, his hair and clothes sticking to him and his flesh as pale as a ghost.

Cody quietly made his way over to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He'd take a fresh hot shower to clean off and chase away his personal demons. He stripped off his clothes and tossed them in a pile by the door, oddly aware that something was missing. Glancing around, Cody's eyes lingered on the mirror which was devoid of his reflection. Cody peered over his shoulder behind him, as if the answer was hiding behind him and then back at the mirror which now properly reflected his naked body.

It had to be some trick of the light or his imagination running wild again. Perhaps the mirror was about to shatter and the fragments would go flying in every direction, impaling his soft flesh, muscle and organs leaving him to bleed out on the tiled floor. Dammit! Cody mentally banished the image of his own death with some effort and stepped into the shower without further delay. Ten minutes later, freshly showered and dried off, Cody stepped out of the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his waist noticing that his mom must have been awakened by him and was now up and about.

"Morning honey," Carey greeted him, giving him a small smile before slowly walking into the kitchen, still half asleep.

"Morning mom. Be out in a minute," Cody replied, ducking inside his room and hunting down a clean change of clothes. Pulling on his shirt over his head, already changed into a new pair of shorts, Cody sat down on the edge of his bed with his towel resting on the floor in a heap. He picked it up and thoroughly dried off his feet making sure to get in between the toes, the strange hallucination in the bathroom still bothering him. Satisfied that he was completely dry, Cody set the towel down next to him and scooped the golden locket and chain off of his nightstand. He placed it around his neck, kissed the locket and then slipped it under his shirt now ready to face the day.

Eventually Cody found himself seated at the dinner table finishing the over easy eggs that he had made for himself and Carey. She had wanted to cook breakfast, insisted in fact, but they both knew that he was the better chef no contest. Besides, Cody hadn't wanted to cook since he came home and his mom probably figured that he was starting to get back into his normal routine. He really just wanted an edible breakfast for a change.

"So what time is this party again?" Carey asked as Cody finished off his orange juice. Adam had told him he'd pick him up around five, but he was unsure of the exact time. Cody had a funny feeling that these sort of parties, thrown by people far higher up on the social ladder, didn't really have a designated start or end time.

"Starts around five," Cody answered, watching as his mother got up from the table and went to the counter to retrieve his anti-depressants. She pulled out one of the capsules and poured him half a glass of tap water. Carey returned to the table, giving him the pill and the water.

"What time are you planning on being home?" She asked, watching as he popped the capsule onto the back of his tongue, took a sip of water and swallowed the happy pill.

"When do you want me home by?" Cody wondered aloud, he was seventeen after all and it would be a Saturday night. He knew other teens his age stayed out all night partying sometimes, even sleeping over at their friend's house without planning too.

"I want you to have fun Cody…Just be back by midnight ok?"

"Sure mom."

* * *

The deep bass of the rock music playing at Matt's house reverberated through Cody's body as he entered through the front door behind Adam and his girlfriend Kristen. Matt's house was in the newly built suburbs just off one of the interstates leading out of Boston. It had taken a little while to get there, but he had to admit that it was a nice place. Judging from the people he saw inside, Cody figured that it was pretty much just the new team, some girlfriends and a tag along friend or two with no adults in sight.

So this must be one of those parties you throw without your parents around, and sometimes without telling them Cody mused as Adam led him into the living room and introduced him to some of the returning players from last year's team. Most of the guys were kicking back on the couch and chairs clustered around the large plasma television which was displaying what looked like a college football game. The girlfriends had detached themselves from the men and were socializing in the kitchen and around the dinner table.

Glancing around at the kitchen counter, dining room table and then living room table Cody took note of everything that was laid out for them to eat and drink. There were all kinds of chips, cheese dip, salsa, boxes of pizza, soda and if he wasn't mistaken there were a few beer bottles spread out here and there among some of the team members. It had never been an issue before with his old friends, but Cody knew that if his mother found out that there was underage drinking going on at Matt's house she would demand that he leave immediately.

"Well looks like everyone is here now," Matt announced, standing up to address the assembled team, "I just want to welcome you all to the team and I know we're going to kick some ass this year!"

"We'll take the state championship this year for sure," another player Cody didn't know agreed. Matt then encouraged them to kick back, have fun and eat and drink whatever they wanted. People began to break up into little groups, some watching sports on the television, the girls remained chit chatting in the kitchen and others went into the game room Matt had setup and started fragging each other on Halo 3. Finding himself slightly overwhelmed, Cody realized that he was momentarily left alone.

"Hey Cody," Kristen greeted as she came over to him. Adam's girlfriend was beautiful, but she just didn't have much of an effect on him. It made him realize just how strong his commitment to Bailey was.

"Hi," he said dumbly, letting her lead him over to the now empty dining room table where they sat down. His locket caught on his skin briefly and he reached into his shirt with one hand to brush it back so that it was centered above his breastbone like normal.

"Oh that's so beautiful. What is it?" Kristen asked, leaning over and giving him a look that asked 'May I?' and then slipping her finger beneath the chain to draw the locket out and examine it after he'd nodded his permission.

"It's a reminder," He finally answered with the same thing he'd told Adam the day before as she gently opened it. She smiled warmly when she saw the picture of two happy looking identical twelve year old boys standing next to each other with their arms around each other's shoulders. It was such a cute picture and one that spoke heavily of the bond shared between brothers.

"Aww, they're so cute!" She exclaimed, then frowning as she examined the other side of the inner locket which was just a grayish-white color, "What's this a reminder of?"

"It reminds me of what I've lost," Cody answered solemnly, amazed that his emotions weren't overwhelming him and causing him to have a breakdown on the spot. Maybe it was his medicine or maybe he was just starting to move on with his life and had finally accepted the grim truth. Kristen looked from the picture to Cody and back again, no doubt realizing that he was one of the boys in it and then connecting his words to the grey and white substance on the other side.

"Cody…are these his…?" Kristen trailed off, unable to finish the question as she looked up at him with pitying eyes.

"Yes."

"Oh Cody I'm so sorry, I didn't know," She whispered, closing the locket, letting it fall back against his chest and wrapping him up in a comforting hug.

"It's ok," He soothed her and she pulled away.

"How long ago did it happen?"

"Almost two months ago, right before school started up again." Kristen looked shocked and embarrassed at the same time. In fact she looked downright mad at herself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have poked my nose in your business."

"Actually it feels good to talk about it with someone other than my Mom and girlfriend," Cody replied truthfully, feeling warmth creep through his skin rather than then icy chill whenever he talked about this subject.

"Your girlfriend?" Kristen asked, seeming happy to have an excuse to change the subject. Cody didn't mind in the slightest as images of Bailey standing in the evening light looking over her family's ranch, her hair gently sweeping behind her in the constant wind that rolled across the plain states, looking incredible as always filled his head.

"Bailey Pickett, we met on the S.S. Tipton where we attended school there for a semester," Cody explained, suddenly wondering why Kristen looked even more shocked and heartbroken.

"You were on the Tipton?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

"Yeah, that's where it all happened," Cody answered as he tucked the locket back into his shirt. He had left her momentarily speechless. She just gaped at him, everything suddenly starting to click into place. Fortunately both of them were spared from an embarrassing silence by Adam and Matt who invited Cody to join them in the living room.

The team captain and his newfound friend were both drinking beer as they beckoned him to join them. Were they going to ask him to have a cold one too? How would Cody say no to them?

"Have a drink man," Matt handed him a cold bottle, the perspiration running down the surface of the glass bottle and onto Cody's hand. He glanced at it like it was a foreign object that deserved great scrutiny.

"No thanks," Cody muttered, trying to hand it back but Matt wouldn't accept it.

"Come on dude, have a drink with your buddies," Matt persisted. Cody was keenly aware that this was peer pressure, pure and simple. He could refuse, but might make his new friends mad at him.

"It's cool, if he doesn't drink then he doesn't drink," Adam stepped in to defend him and Cody was grateful for the support. Then he thought of something important.

"You're not planning on driving back are you?"

"Nah, I don't drink and drive bro. Kristen's going to drive us back," Adam explained, making Cody grateful that he was being responsible.

"Come on Cody, it'll relax you and make you feel good," Matt pressed on as if he hadn't heard Adam telling him to lay off.

"Well it won't hurt, especially if you've never drank before Cody. You'd probably get a buzz off half a bottle," Adam laughed at what must have sounded ridiculous to him as a more experienced drinker. Cody considered his options and feelings for a moment. He had always envied his brother's ability to have fun and fit in with almost everyone and had secretly hated being a guaranteed kill joy at parties since he had been so nerdy and respectful of rules, laws, etc. One beer couldn't hurt could it? He could stop after that.

"Alright," Cody finally gave in, letting Matt take the cap off, and took a few cautious sips. It tasted bitter and had a strong bite to it, just as he'd remembered from what his parents let him try a sip of beer or wine on the holidays when they were younger. He took the advice Adam gave him upon seeing the disgusted expression on Cody's face and pinched his nose as he took another gulp. It wasn't long before Cody felt the warm electric tingle of the 'buzz' as the alcohol started working its magic.

* * *

Cody returned home later than intended. He wasn't quite sure where the all the time had gone, the past few hours were a blur. He didn't even notice the funny look Tim, the night manager, gave him as he made a bee line straight to the elevators.

When Cody arrived on the twenty third floor, he whipped out his room key and quietly slipped inside not wanting to wake his mother if she'd fallen asleep. He just wanted to go to bed himself, the alcohol and the hour were making him really sleepy. He'd slept the entire ride home while Adam and Kristen talked softly from the front seats.

"Did you have a good time sweetie?" Carey Martin asked as he stepped inside. She had the couch pulled out into her bed, but she was propped up on her pillows reading a book and listening to the news on TV. She didn't say anything about him being late, he doubted that she would, and must have stayed up waiting for him to come home.

"Yeah," Cody responded, heading towards his bedroom. Carey however wanted a good night hug and kiss and intercepted him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him gently on the cheek. Then her embrace stiffened…

"Have you been drinking Cody?" His mother demanded, her tone making him feel like he'd just been hit in the stomach by a sledgehammer. It was unnoticeable to him, but his breath stank of alcohol. There was no point denying it.

"Yes mom." Several different emotions played across her face as she pulled away to give him a hard look. Shock, confusion, sadness and then finally anger. She was really mad with him. Carey made a few attempts to yell at him for his poor decision to engage in underage drinking, but stuttered to a stop each time. She had never had to chew out Cody before, he was always the good son, and she found it hard to start now especially given all that had happened to their family.

"Just go to your room young man. We'll talk about this tomorrow," Carey finally said sternly and Cody left his mother standing there to stew. He was angry now for some reason, angry at himself and angry because she was angry. Closing the door behind him, Cody stood in his bedroom for a moment looking from one side to the other.

His own bed invited him into its warmth, comfort and familiarity. Cody was so tired, he just wanted to fall flat on his face and pass out. Then he looked over at the other side of the room which had been straightened and cleaned up a little bit, but otherwise left untouched. That side of the room had been left waiting for the occupant that now would never come home to it.

Cody fell forward onto the other bed and gathered the pillows under his head, sobbing into them as he was suddenly overtaken by a wave of grief, the pain of which was so intense that it was almost physically hurting him. His body shuddered with each labored sob and his breaths came in quick sharp intakes as though he had trouble breathing.

"It's all my fault Zack…It's all my fault…"

* * *

**A/N:** Wow! Heck of a chapter eh? Cody's nightmarish memories are advancing a little further, the mirror in the bathroom doesn't reflect his image at first and when it does he again hallucinates and sees himself dying. Kristen accidentally pries deeper than anyone else has in a long time into the tragedy Cody seems to have suffered, discovering the picture and grey-white stuff inside the locket. Then he actually drinks a beer! Or did he drink more than one seeing as he can't remember the rest of the night hehe? Now Carey's mad at him and he's had another breakdown. What is all Cody's fault? Was he responsible for what happened? Stay tuned!

Please review! Thanks for reading!


	4. I Killed My Brother

**Chapter 4**

**"I Killed My Brother"**

_And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
I was confused  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
So what am I  
What do I have but negativity  
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me  
Nothing to lose  
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, the fault is my own_

_"Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park_

It was late at night that found Zack and Cody lying awake in the motel bed that they were sharing. Despite the hour, there were still people moving around outside and occasionally being rude by talking loudly right outside of their room. Light peeked in from the outdoor lamps through the cheap curtain covering the window. Their parents were out performing for a concert and wouldn't be back for another hour or so. It was very strange for the twins to be trying to get to sleep when their parents were away instead of watching late night TV.

"What are you thinking about?" Ten year old Zack Martin asked his twin brother who was lying beside him, eyes half closed staring up at the shifting patterns of light and shadow on the ceiling.

"Nothing," Cody murmured, glancing over to the side of the room as he heard the air conditioning unit kick on, "What are you thinking about?"

"I had a bad dream last night. I was buried in the ground and there were worms and things trying to eat me," Zack explained, making Cody shiver in fright. He could almost feel something crawling around in the bed with him nibbling at his toes, legs, arms and hands.

"Why are you thinking about that?" Cody asked, leaning slightly on his side to peer down at the floor as if he was afraid of something trying to crawl out from underneath the bed.

"I was thinking about what's going to happen to me when I die." Cody settled back down and turned his head to give his brother a hard stare.

"What?"

"Don't let them bury me Cody," Zack whispered, turning his head to look Cody in the eye, "I don't want to be put in the ground."

"You're not going to die Zack," Cody tried to reassure him, but now he had a strange feeling. Something was wrong, something was changing.

"But I am dead Cody, you let me drown," Zack accused him.

"Drown? What? No you're lying…" Cody stammered in protest.

"You're drowning too Codes," Zack said matter of factly and then the cheap motel room was gone and Cody found himself back underwater, surrounded by the dark green murkiness.

His right arm was suddenly tugged downward and Cody glanced at his brother, horrified to see Zack struggling weakly to keep swimming. The surface didn't seem that far away, but it might as well have been a mile away. Pain constricted Cody's chest, it felt like he was burning up from the lack of oxygen and his extremities had gone cold and numb. His arms and legs responded with agonizing slowness and seemed to drain all of his energy as he struggled to keep swimming upward, dragging Zack up with him. Blackness edged his vision and the world started slipping away…

Cody kicked out in desperation, burning up the last of his oxygen and strength as he flailed both of his arms trying to claw his way to the surface. Spasms of protest rippled through his numb limbs. He started to rise faster and he could feel the pressure on his body easing up. It was so much easier swimming now that he was lighter, but why was he so light all of a sudden? Then it dawned on him…

"NO!!!" Cody screamed in horror as he realized what he'd done. Something grabbed him around his shoulders and he blindly tried fighting it off.

"CODY!" A familiar voice cut through his panic. It was Zack screaming his name, but where was he? Was he screaming his name trying to get help or was his brother damning him to hell for what he'd done?

"CODY!"

The voice wasn't Zack's. It was his mother's! Consciousness returned to a very scared and confused Cody who was being shaken awake by his mother who had him around the shoulders. He looked up at her concerned face, his tear streaked eyes pleading for her forgiveness.

"I killed my brother," Cody wailed, horrified that he was capable of such a horrendous act. He loved Zack. Why had he done that to him? WHY?

"It's just a dream Cody…" Carey started to soothe him before he interrupted her by sitting up and throwing off her loving touch. The horrified look on his face suddenly turned to anguish.

"NO IT'S NOT! I KILLED ZACK!"

"No you didn't honey," She argued with him, her own eyes filling with tears. It was hard sometimes for Cody to remember that his mother was also having a hard time dealing with Zack's death and that every time he brought it up or had a fit of depression that he was really hurting her.

"Zack couldn't make it to the surface without me and I let him go to save myself. It's all my fault, it's all my damn fault!" Cody remembered that one moment he had been hauling Zack up to the surface, which was taking every ounce of strength that he had and more, and the next he had panicked and was frantically lashing out with all of his limbs trying to reach the surface. He'd let go of his brother...Zack had trusted him, had counted on him, to bring him safely to the surface and Cody had failed his twin.

"The ship sinking was not your fault," Carey tried reasoning with him, but he wasn't listening to her words of comfort.

"I don't deserve to live, I'm such a horrible person. How can you stand me?"

"You're my son Cody, I love you."

"But I killed your other son!" Cody protested in desperation, wanting her to acknowledge his guilt and blame him. Instead Carey whipped her hand around so fast that he couldn't react to it and slapped the right side of his face. His head snapped sideways as the sting of pain exploded out in all directions. Cody was stunned for a second, but as he turned back to face her he felt rage and hatred building inside of him.

"Stop it Cody! Stop it right now! It was an accident, you didn't do anything wrong! Zack and I both love you so much that we would sacrifice our lives to save yours if we had to. Zack made that sacrifice, so stop blaming yourself and stop feeling sorry for yourself or your brother will have died in vain!"

"I hate you!" Cody tensed as his mother moved, but instead of striking him again she turned quickly and stormed out of his room. He sighed deeply to vent some of his anger and rolled out of bed, locating his shoes and slipping his feet into them. Gone was the old Cody who cared about not showering in the morning and wearing the same clothes from last night's party, it just didn't really matter anymore.

Cody stood in his room for a moment thinking things over, feeling guilty for what he'd done to Zack and how he'd just treated his mother who loved him deeply. He wanted to go out and get some fresh air, but he also knew that the right thing to do was to smooth things over with Carey. Grabbing his locket off the nightstand, Cody opened it and looked at the picture of him and Zack standing shoulder to shoulder grinning happily with no idea that tragedy would separate them just five years later.

Opposite the picture was a few of Zack's ashes, the 'reminder of what he'd lost' was always with him both in memory and in the physical. Zack hadn't wanted to be buried and when Carey was asked what she wanted done with her eldest son's body, it was Cody who solemnly told her of his brother's wishes and she had respected them. Zack had been cremated and his ashes were separated, a third of them were with Carey, another third with the twin's father Kurt and the final third had been scattered to the winds from atop the Appalachian Mountains which had always fascinated Zack when he was a little kid. The ashes in Cody's locket were from his mother's third and the jewelry had been a present from London Tipton, who bought it, and Maddie Fitzpatrick, who gave her the idea and also gave Cody the idea what to do with it. He slipped it on and the metal felt unnaturally hot, almost as though his brother's spirit was angry with him.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Cody said as he stepped out into the main part of the suite. He found his mother sitting on the couch sideways with her legs drawn up against her chest. She was crying with her head resting on her knees. It was unlikely that she hadn't heard him, so after a moment of silence he guessed that she was ignoring him.

"Mom?" Cody prodded again, deciding to sit down next to her feet. Slowly Carey unwound herself and leaned forward to wrap him up in a tight embrace, one of those 'never want to let you go' hugs mothers give their children when they're worried.

"You and Zack were precious gifts when you were born, the best gifts I have ever gotten. Your brother may not be with us anymore, but I still love him just as much as I love you Cody," Carey whispered in his ear, her whole body trembling.

"Mom…I was out of line…"

"Cody it's ok. You're upset, these things happen." Together mother and son sat on the couch talking for awhile and Cody found it strange that Carey refused to blame him for Zack's death and brushed aside the entire matter of him drinking underage at the party the previous night, writing it off with the words 'well It's not like I was twenty one before I had my first beer either, just be careful honey'. After both had finished talking and regained their composure, they rode the elevator down together. Cody wanted to get some fresh air, maybe take a walk, and Carey claimed that she had some errands to run.

* * *

Cody walked around the city that afternoon, wandering aimlessly as he let his feet take him wherever they wanted. It was mild out, not too hot, but the day promised to grow cooler and wet judging by the clouds forming in the distance. Boston was in for one hell of a storm with clouds black as night converging on the city, lightning appearing in brief flashes every so often accompanied seconds later by the distant rumble of thunder. It reminded him of the storm that had been the cause of the tragedy at sea two months ago.

Lightning flared again and again, reaching out across the great distance separating the clouds that generated it and Cody, striking him with the full fury of nature. His body jerked wildly as it was electrocuted and then collapsed on the pavement, hair standing on end and clothes smoking. Cody cursed his stupid imagination as it ran away with yet another scenario depicting his death and returned his focus to the here and now of the present.

He really just wanted to talk to someone, not about his brother, but about normal everyday stuff. Looking up for the first time in awhile, Cody realized that he was near Barbara's apartment and wondered if she would be home. She had recently been indicating that she wanted to rekindle their lost friendship at school, maybe this would be a good time to start?

In no time at all Cody reached the apartment building where the Brownstein's lived, it was fairly close to where the twin's father had stayed for a couple of weeks and he was momentarily reminded of the night he and Zack both brought girls over for a romantic night at the same time on accident and surprised each other. Cody ignored the elevator in favor of taking the stairs, it was closer to the apartment and he enjoyed jogging up to the third floor.

Knocking politely with his special knock to let the family know it was just him, Cody waited outside their door taking in the grey carpeting and freshly painted white walls of the hallway. It looked like the apartment manager had finally started to remodel the place. After awhile Cody knocked again, wondering if anyone was home. It was later in the afternoon on a Sunday, they were probably out doing something fun or running errands. He resigned himself to remembering that he and Barbara had broken up and he was now fully committed to Bailey which meant that his old girlfriend had no obligation whatsoever to share her weekend plans with him.

Cody gave up, realizing that no one was home, and left the same way he had come. On the way down the steps he reached into his pocket and touched his phone before deciding against calling her. He was already starting to feel better, he didn't really need to talk to anyone anymore. Outside the storm the had been brewing all afternoon had slowly crept forward, but was still a good distance from downtown Boston and the entire area was still sunny. After the excitement of volleyball tryouts on Friday and the party at Matt's house on Saturday coupled with drinking alcohol Cody felt that he was somehow wasting his Sunday.

He sat down on a bench at the nearby bus stop and mulled over his thoughts. There wasn't much he could do. Well it was more of the fact that there wasn't much that he wanted to do. He'd finished his homework on Saturday afternoon waiting for the party, he had no chores, his new friends were far too new to intrude upon their weekend without an invitation, his olds friends were distant and most of the activities he considered fun were ones that he had done almost exclusively with Zack. Those things belonged to him and his brother, and without Zack he had no desire to pull pranks, go to the Tipton's game room, go to the skate park or do anything they might have once done.

With nothing better to do Cody made his way home where he spent his evening making an extravagant 'I'm sorry mom' dinner which kept his mind occupied and helped wipe his emotional slate clean by doing something nice for someone else and receiving their gratitude for his hard work. After dinner Carey left to sing at her late evening show and Cody flopped down on the couch and turned on the television. He lowered the volume since he wasn't completely interested in it and pulled out his phone to call Bailey.

They spent an incredible amount of time talking about everything and nothing. Cody wanted to hear her voice and learn about the details of her life back home while she wanted to ask him how he was doing and if he had had fun at the tryouts and the subsequent party. He really felt like they were connecting and as the minutes turned to hours Cody began to feel supremely comfortable lying on the soft couch and enjoyed the warm tingle creeping across his body every time Bailey spoke in her wonderful mid-western accent.

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah yeah I know, no signature cliff hanger in this chapter, but it was one heck of an emotional one between Cody and Carey. We learn a lot this chapter huh? Don't worry, there's more to come and the plot is of course about to start unraveling. As one of my best reviewers (tiger002) says about my writing, _"You always find a way take the suite life and turn it into ways I didn't think possible"_ and I shall not disappoint. Some of you all are already on to my plot, curse my foreshadowing!

Sorry for the weak second half after the intense Cody/Carey scene. I hadn't planned this chapter well after that, but damn I'm proud of the first half. I stumbled onto the music for the opening while looking through a pile of burnt CD's and I just knew I had found my track for this chapter. Hope you liked my choice!

P.S. I had to put the story down twice writing Cody and Carey's scene Wyntirsno!

Stay tuned and please review! =)


	5. The Color Of Love

**Chapter 5**

**"The Color of Love"**

_For what it's worth  
It was worth all the while  
It's something unpredictable  
But in the end is right  
I hope you had the time of your life_

_"Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)" by Green Day_

Monday was promising to be just as boring as usual and Cody was feeling annoyed by being at school, an emotion that had previously been alien to him in such a place. Last weekend had been the most exciting couple of days since returning to Boston and after a taste of all that happiness, being in the bland and boring academic environment was dragging him down. He was still interested in striking up a conversation with Barbara, but it looked like she hadn't arrived yet which was unusual for her since she was normally early to class like he was. Besides talking to her, all he had to look forward to today was volleyball practice after school.

Suddenly a pair of girls who looked like they were in their sophomore year came into Cody's homeroom. It was still early yet, people were still milling about outside and heading to their respective classes, and no one seemed to notice or mind these strangers intruding upon the junior's class. They looked around for a moment, their gazes settling on him as they broke into a fit of giggles and rushed over next to his desk. What was going on?

"Hi, are you Cody?" The short red headed girl asked, smiling in the way only a girl can manage which was intended to make him uncomfortable.

"Yes," He answered, totally confused at what these two younger girls wanted with him. The taller blond haired girl set a red rose on his desk along with a small card.

"A girl outside asked us to give this to you," The blond girl explained as her face flushed red with embarrassment, several other students now watching them. They giggled for a brief second and then raced back outside.

Flushed with curiosity Cody ran his left finger along the stem of the red rose, knowing full well that that color symbolized love before picking up the card and opening it. He was aware of the handful of people staring at him, but he was a changed man and easily ignored them. 'Meet me at Liberty Park at six – Your not so secret admirer' was written in perfect flowing cursive handwriting that he didn't recognize.

Cody stood up, still holding the card, walking over to the door and poking his head out. There was no one in the hallway that he recognized nor was anyone acting suspicious or trying to catch his eye. He returned to his seat wondering who his 'not so secret admirer' was. The wording implied that it was someone that he knew, but who was it?

* * *

Contrary to his earlier belief, Cody found that the day passed fairly smoothly and surprisingly quick though it might have had something to do with the fact that his head was in the clouds all day trying to puzzle out who his admirer was. Before he knew it, Cody was on the court for volleyball practice asking Adam for advice in between points. They had already gone through an entire list of suspects and Cody was still no closer to figuring out who it was.

He quickly ran through the list in his head after setting Adam who delivered a powerful spike which just narrowly avoided hitting an opposing player in the face. Bailey was halfway across the country, Barbara was with Bob, Max had moved out of town a couple of years ago and she had been more interested in Zack anyway, Jessica and Janice the English twins from Britain had just returned home again and he had even considered Agnes for a few fleeting seconds before remembering that she had moved on. Maybe it was a girl from the party last weekend Cody suddenly thought before brushing it aside knowing that they had all been dating other guys and Kristen was the only one he had really talked too.

"So are you going to meet her or what?" Adam asked as they finished practice, leading the way over to the bleachers where he grabbed a towel off of his backpack and dabbed the sweat off of his face. Cody was drenched too, he hadn't realized how hard he had been playing.

"What about Bailey?" He asked, not wanting to even give her or anyone else the slightest inkling, however untrue, that he was cheating on her. It was such a dishonest thing, he would never do that to her for as long as they loved each other.

"What about her? She's a thousand miles away. What happens in Boston stays in Boston," Adam joked, referencing the famous age old quote about Las Vegas.

"I don't know…" Cody said, exasperated and at a loss what to do. He didn't want to damage his relationship with Bailey, but he also wasn't the kind of person to hurt a person's feelings by not showing up and being honest either. Maybe he could meet with this admirer and tell her the truth that there just wasn't anyone else for him but Bailey.

"You really love her don't you?" Adam inquired as they made their way into the locker room to change, both of them oblivious to the post game conversations going on around them.

"Yes. We have so much in common and we've been though so much together," Cody explained, an image of him helping put a harness around a hysteric Bailey as the Coast Guard lifted her out of the water amid debris that made it nearly impossible for rescue boats to reach them flash through his mind. He also recalled being hauled up into the helicopter as well and being sat down next to her. They held each other, gave each other comfort, in their darkest hour.

"I dunno man, go with what feels right," Adam finally replied at a loss for advice to give him. Cody unlocked his locker and withdrew his locket from within, placing the cool metal around his neck. He suddenly heard a small voice in the back of his mind, 'Live a little Cody' and knew that he would indeed meet this person at the park later today. After all, a memory of Zack giving Cody that little piece of advice when they were younger and skipping middle school to see their favorite singer shoot a music video at the mall near the Tipton seemed like the perfect blessing.

* * *

Freshly showered and changed into a white polo shirt and blue jeans Cody strode up the sidewalk towards Liberty Park remembering the time when he and Zack had helped save it from being bulldozed and turned into a parking lot. In addition to reliving some of his old memories, he was also thinking about what to say to this mystery person. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he also didn't want to get involved with anyone else now that he had finally won Bailey over.

There was an old couple walking in the park nearby and some children playing near the large tree that dominated the center of the place, but no one Cody thought might be his admirer. Glancing at his watch he realized that he was a few minutes early and walked over to a park bench and sat down still thinking about what to say. Minutes passed and no one approached him nor did he see anyone who might fit the bill. He wondered if he had been the victim of a foolish prank.

Cody was startled when a pair of hands gently covered his eyes from behind. Her skin had a firm and smooth texture and he detected the hint of aloe with his nose. He felt her lean in close to him, smelling a whiff of strawberry scented shampoo.

"Guess who!" The girl whispered, sending an electric tingle racing down his spine. The logical part of his mind refused to accept the identity of the person behind him, but his heart started beating faster at the sound of her voice. He hadn't realized just how much he yearned to have her close to him until now.

"Bailey?" Cody said, standing up and turning around when the smooth hands withdrew. Right in front of him was none other than his girlfriend, looking as beautiful as ever dressed casually in a t-shirt and short shorts. What was she doing here? Then a better question, what did it matter? She was here in Boston with him!

"Hey you!" Bailey Pickett smiled and came around to peck him on the cheek with a kiss, breaking him out of his stunned admiration of her beauty. Cody wrapped her up with his arms and drew her close. She rested her head against his chest and sighed in contentment, enjoying being in his arms for a moment, before looking up and kissing him on the lips. They held it for a long moment and it was just as good as their first kiss, maybe even better now that they had been separated for almost two months.

"Bailey…what are you…? Cody started to ask as they pulled away from each other, but she silenced him with a finger pressed against his lips. She smiled devilishly, obviously enjoying his surprise at her sudden appearance.

"Come with me," Bailey ordered, slipping her arm around his and leading him out of the park.

"Where are we going?" Cody asked, still puzzled.

"You are taking me to dinner Cody Martin."

A couple hours later Cody found himself in Bailey's hotel room watching a movie with her on television. During their short, but oh so enjoyable, dinner at a nearby restaurant where they sat outside she had explained everything. Her school had selected a handful of the best students and sent them on a week long field trip to Boston to learn about and visit key places important to the American Revolution. These places primarily centered around major events such as the Boston Tea Party and the Boston Massacre. She'd arrived in town Sunday night and had had a hard time not telling him that she was there, wanting to instead surprise him on the following day.

Everything was perfect Cody thought from where he lay on his stomach watching the movie and occasionally sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye at Bailey. She was laying on her stomach next to him on the queen sized bed, propped up on her elbows with a pillow folded under her chin. They shared a bag of buttered popcorn and their bare feet explored each other's feet and legs as the movie progressed.

Cody had called his mother earlier after Bailey had invited him over, saying that he was welcome to spend the night even which made his heart flutter briefly before he regained his self control, and let her know that he might be home late if he didn't spend the night. Of course she had started bombarding him with questions, but after a few minutes Carey relented when Cody explained that he wanted to spend some time with the girl who had stolen his heart. He could detect a note of jealousy in his mother's voice, after all he was her little boy and she had been the only woman he'd truly loved for his entire life so it must have been hard for her to give him up to another woman.

Before she hung up, Carey simply told him in an offhanded tone to remember to use protection which made him blush profusely. Thankfully Bailey hadn't been close enough to hear his mother's embarrassing comment. Cody might have dropped dead from embarrassment right then and there. Still, he wondered how far this night and this week would go. Being together like this after they had survived a tragedy which claimed the lives of some of their friends and Cody's twin would really bring out their true feelings for each other.

Carey's parting comment was still nagging in the back of his mind though and he couldn't push it aside. He was a virgin after all and wasn't quite sure how to react to, or initiate, the act of taking their relationship another step forward. Cody didn't want to seem inexperienced and clumsy, especially if Bailey had experience. He wasn't sure about that since she once had a boyfriend of several years back in Kansas, but that was over now. At the very least he wasn't totally in the dark having gotten practice on his own, just like all teenage boys do and he occasionally had gotten adventurous on the internet late at night. Still, the real thing was bound to be different that anything he'd had to deal with before.

"Cody?" Bailey wondered aloud, snapping him out of his thoughts. He again felt unjustifiably embarrassed seeing as Bailey couldn't read his dirty thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You've been staring at me for the past couple of minutes." Cody's mind worked overtime to come up with an adequate response, from denial, apology to giving her a compliment on her beauty. In the end he settled on trying to provoke her with a smart ass response.

"Is that a problem?" He smiled to show her that he was only joking. Her eyes searched his for the truth on his feelings and seemed to find what they were looking for. With surprising speed Bailey pulled him onto his side and rolled on top of him. She kept her body pressed up against his as she kissed him fiercely on the lips.

"I've missed you so much Cody," Bailey whispered, briefly pausing to gauge his reaction to how quickly she had come onto him. In response Cody rolled them over and now he was on top and was doing the fierce kissing. His hands left her shoulders and started exploring the curve of her body, eventually ending up pressed against the exposed flesh of her waist.

"So have I…missed you I mean," Cody stuttered pulling back to look at her beautiful eyes. Her lovely brown eyes reflected the pain of loss that his did whenever he looked in the mirror, but there was also a hunger in them. It was a desire that could not easily be brushed aside. Bailey wanted to go all the way he suddenly realized.

"Oh shut up," She teased him for his stutter, reaching down and pulling his shirt up over his head. He could do nothing but throw his arms forward to help her remove it. She proceeded to nip at and kiss his bare chest and while he felt awkward at first, the strange sense of pleasure he received from it soon eased his mind. He wondered if he should do something similar to her.

"Someone's been working out," Bailey observed a moment later, taking notice of Cody's slightly more defined chest.

"I want to be strong enough to save the people I love," Cody answered, briefly wondering if he had been stronger on that fateful night two months ago Zack would still be with them. The thought was pushed aside when Bailey removed her own shirt and made him undo the clasp of her bra.

Both of them were half naked now and Cody felt himself become fully aroused. They continued kissing and exploring each other's skin for several minutes. His earlier doubts seemed so trivial, everything came to him naturally and there was something else inside of him helping guide his actions as the pants started coming off.

Something inside of him had awakened. There were emotions pouring into him he'd never experienced, lust was chiefly among them. Then there was also a primitive instinct helping to guide him, blocking out all of his self doubt and filling him with confidence. It had an animal-like quality and it was hungry. There was only one way to satisfy that irrepressible hunger. The next day Cody was no longer a virgin.

* * *

**A/N:** Woot! Score Cody! I bet you all wanted to see more huh? T-rated though, just have to use your imagination. How cool is this? Cody's got his girl, new friends, a school sport and happy pills! But you know my stories have twists, so sit back and enjoy!

On a more bitter note Cody and Bailey's scene was written, in my opinion, below my standards. I've been writer's blocked on that part and I decided that I just had to write it, no matter how bad, to get it over and done with. It didn't come out that bad I guess, but I wish I could have centered more on their passion for each other and the love shared between survivor's of a horrible tragedy. Ah well, action and mystery are my stronger suits, which should show up again next chapter.


	6. Vanishing Act

**Chapter 6**

**"Vanishing Act"**

_I close both locks below the window.  
I close both blinds and turn away.  
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.  
Sometimes goodbye's the only way._

_And the sun will set for you,  
The sun will set for you.  
And the shadow of the day,  
Will embrace the world in grey,  
And the sun will set for you._

_Pink cards and flowers on your window,  
Your friends all plead for you to stay.  
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple.  
Sometimes goodbye's the only way._

_"Shadow Of The Day" by Linkin Park_

"Am I going to die?" Seven year old Zachary Martin asked his mother as he examined the cast that covered most of his right arm. On his left arm and face were several bandages covering a myriad of cuts and scrapes.

"No sweetie. You just have a few bumps and bruises, you'll be good as new in no time," Carey Martin reassured her son. Zack looked totally bummed lying in his bed, too sore to move much and unable to do anything with his broken arm. Cody peered around the doorframe and Zack glared back angrily at him.

The family was somewhere in New York for who knew how long considering how often they moved around. Zack and Cody had been out on the back porch, which was a good four feet off the ground due to the house having been built on a hill, playing around and joking. They'd gotten into an argument over something stupid and Zack had pushed Cody. When Cody retaliated he'd used more strength than he had thought possible of his small body and the wooden railing that ran around the edge of the porch gave way sending Zack plummeting four feet onto the concrete foundation.

First there had been a sick sense of satisfaction, something Cody wasn't used to feeling, as he came out on top of a fight for a change. But that satisfaction was short lived for Zack's yelp of surprise, a sickening cracking noise and the sound of his body hitting the ground terrified Cody greatly. He'd hurt Zack, he hadn't meant to, but he couldn't undo what he'd done.

Carey followed Zack's glare and saw Cody standing against the wall outside with his head poking in through the doorway looking extremely upset. When she looked back at her injured son, Zack had turned his head the other way so that he wouldn't have to look at either of them.

"Zack, Cody's really sorry for what happened. I know he didn't mean to hurt you." Carey tried to be the peacemaker between them, no matter how ineffective she was, not realized that twin brothers had to work out their differences without anyone else's help.

"I don't care," Zack mumbled, still refusing to look at his brother. Cody sniffled, feeling the snot pile up in the back of his mouth as warm tears flowed freely from his eyes. Zack was his best friend, his twin, and he couldn't bear the thought of him hating his guts.

"I'm sorry Zack!" Cody cried, coming into the room and standing next to his mother. She draped an arm across his little shoulders, but didn't interrupt. Zack turned his head back to face them, his expression a mixture of pity and hatred.

"Just leave me alone. I'm better off without you." Something was wrong…Carey was no longer in the room with them and the late afternoon daylight outside the bedroom window had turned to an eerily dark shade of green plunging them into near darkness.

"How can you say that?" Cody asked, feeling the air grow colder.

"I trusted you, and you let me die."

"That's not true!"

"But I am dead Cody, you let me drown," Zack accused him.

"Drown? What? No you're lying…" Cody stammered in protest.

"You're drowning too Codes," Zack said matter of factly and then the bedroom was gone and Cody found himself back underwater, surrounded by the dark green murkiness.

His right arm was suddenly tugged downward and Cody glanced at his brother, horrified to see Zack struggling weakly to keep swimming. The surface didn't seem that far away, but it might as well have been a mile away. Pain constricted Cody's chest, it felt like he was burning up from the lack of oxygen and his extremities had gone cold and numb. His arms and legs responded with agonizing slowness and seemed to drain all of his energy as he struggled to keep swimming upward, dragging Zack up with him. Blackness edged his vision and the world started slipping away…

Cody kicked out in desperation, burning up the last of his oxygen and strength as he flailed both of his arms trying to claw his way to the surface. Spasms of protest rippled through his numb limbs. He started to rise faster and he could feel the pressure on his body easing up. It was so much easier swimming now that he was lighter, but why was he so light all of a sudden? Then it dawned on him…

"NO!!!" Cody screamed in horror as he realized what he'd done. As his body slowly rose to the surface, he looked down and saw Zack falling away from him and down into the clutches of the deep sea. His arms were outstretched, as if he'd been trying to hold onto Cody all by himself or perhaps he was reaching out towards the surface. The pressure of the water was almost non existent now as Cody's head broke the surface of the icy water and he was able to gasp for breath filling his lungs with blessed oxygen.

Towering over him, the massive stern of the sinking cruise ship hung in the air at an impossible angle. Any moment now it would come crashing down into the ocean where it would create a powerful suction that would pull everything and everyone nearby underwater and entrap them making it impossible to escape. He wanted to go back for Zack, but his body protested at his half hearted attempt and his mind was busy assaulting him with the logic that his brother was beyond saving. He couldn't stay here either…He had to get away from the ship or he would share Zack's fate.

* * *

Cody awoke naturally from his nightmare instead of being jerked awake like he normally was. The memory of him and Zack spending time playing video games and checkers together after he'd broken his arm somehow took the edge of the horror. It was still dark outside and glancing at the alarm clock on the bedside table confirmed that it was just before six in the morning. The perfect time to wake up in fact as he still needed to get ready for school and also wanted to be out of the hotel before Bailey's school chaperones checked in on the students in the morning.

Speaking of Bailey, Cody felt her head resting against the side of his chest and cradled in his arm. She was awake, tracing lazy circles on his stomach with her fingertips. He wondered if he had somehow awakened her while he was dreaming.

"Are you ok Cody?" Bailey whispered softly.

"I'm fine." There was that phrase again, a complete lie that was easier to tell than the truth.

"You were mumbling in your sleep," She stated matter of factly.

"Just a bad dream." Cody tried to downplay it by using an off handed tone. There was no reason to get her worried about him.

"About the ship?"

"Yes," He answered hesitantly. Bailey had seen right through him, she always did when he was feeling down.

"I dream about it too sometimes."

"Yeah, but you don't have your twin brother in them blaming you for letting him die though. My dreams almost always start off with a nice old memory of us being together and then right before I find myself back in the water drowning with Zack, he tells me that I let him drown…" Cody explained in a rush, slowing only for the last dozen or so words to emphasize them and make a point. Her dreams were nothing like his and he didn't know why he had to make that difference known. It was almost as if a part of him was irrationally angry at her for saying that she had bad dreams about the S.S. Tipton too. Bailey said nothing to this. She found his hand and held it with her own for a long moment, leaving each other to their own thoughts.

"I should go get ready for school…" Cody finally mumbled, detaching himself from Bailey's warmth and softness to get dressed.

"Call me later ok? We can go out again tonight," Bailey said as Cody finished dressing and looked around to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything. He told her that he would and quietly left the room. Despite the dream and the slightly unsettling conversation with Bailey, Cody had never felt more alive in his life. He was invigorated and ready to face the day and its infinite possibilities.

* * *

Cody's good mood didn't last very long as the day approached noontime. He was still interested in rekindling the old friendship that he had had with Barbara and after missing her on the weekend and on Monday, Cody became determined to find her today. Try as he might, he couldn't locate her between classes or in homeroom before school started. Was she out sick or something? Then he ran into his old friend Bob who had started going out with her while Cody was aboard the Tipton behind his back. He'd been a bit angry about that at first, but in the end both Barbara and Cody had been cheating on each other anyway.

His good mood hit rock bottom when he questioned Bob about Barbara's whereabouts and he just looked at Cody like he was a madman. He kept asking Cody to repeat Barbara's name, as though he were hard of hearing and couldn't understand what Cody was saying. After several minutes of interrogation Bob had finally left, calling him a loon, leaving Cody without answers and full of questions. According to Bob he didn't know a Barbara Brownstein…

Cody thought that he was joking until he opened up his phone and scrolled through the contact list. Barbara's number wasn't in there and upon closer inspection he realized that several other people were missing from his list too. Max who had moved out of town was missing, good old Tapeworm wasn't on the list, Jessica and Janice from England, friends from the old geeky clubs at school and others. His contact list had lost over half of its numbers, including his father's Cody realized as a cold chill spread down his back. It had to be a sick joke…But then, why hadn't he seen Barbara lately and come to think of it, it had been awhile since he'd talked to his father…

The school day came and went, leaving Cody utterly confused and worried that something bad was happening. When he showed up to volleyball practice that afternoon, Cody knew that he wasn't being pranked. Something was seriously wrong…

They normally practiced nine against nine, but each side only had six today. A third of the team was missing including his new friend Adam and Matt seemed quite bewildered when Cody had asked about people, who according to the team captain, had never existed. He couldn't stand it anymore and Cody left without practicing or offering an explanation.

Cody walked home quickly, noticing that the bad weather had finally reached the city, plunging Boston into a dark grey landscape. The wind was starting to pick up and it whistled through the city's buildings, carrying with it the smell of rain. Lightning arced in the clouds high above and thunder boomed so loud that it almost drove the breath from his lungs.

Finally he reached the Tipton Hotel and made his way up to his suite, sighing with relief when he spotted Carey Martin standing at the counter clipping coupons and listening to the weatherman on the television talk about the storm that was about to hit them. She looked around, surprised to see Cody home so early from practice.

"You're home early," She observed, setting down the pair of scissors and walking over to give him a hug.

"Mom, do you have Dad's phone number?" Cody asked, wanting to get down to the bottom of what was going on. She drew away from him, a pained expression on her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to call dad."

"Cody…your dad died before you were born." Cody suddenly swayed on his feet, his brain could not and would not process what she had said as the truth. He just couldn't accept it. His mind was on overload, so many of his friends were missing and nobody remembered them and now his own father had been wiped out of Cody's life.

"What…? He exclaimed, losing his balance and falling into his mother's arms. Cody's legs folded beneath him, refusing to support his weight anymore and the world pressed in upon him making his head hurt. Black spots appeared around the edges of his vision and then the ocean broke through the windows and filled the room with dark murky water.

Pain constricted Cody's chest, it felt like he was burning up from the lack of oxygen and his extremities had gone cold and numb. His arms and legs responded with agonizing slowness and seemed to drain all of his energy as he struggled to keep swimming upward, dragging Zack up with him. Blackness edged his vision and the world started slipping away…

His struggle to reach the surface slowed to a feeble attempt and then Cody gave up, his body falling away into the ocean's depths alongside of Zack's. He glanced over at his brother, surprised to see that Zack was no longer moving or fighting to stay alive. Was he gone already Cody wondered?

* * *

Cody awoke hours later from a dreamless sleep, surprised to find himself lying in his own bed. When had he come into his bedroom? The last thing that he remembered was his mother telling him that Kurt Martin had died before he was born. He sat up straight in his bed, looking around the room which was lit only by the fading daylight coming in through the window. Getting out of bed, Cody crossed the room to his brother's side and picked up a framed picture from the bedside table.

In the picture was Zack and Cody dressed in several layers of clothing with a tall snow covered mountain range behind them. They both were holding onto snowboards and giving the camera thumbs up, grinning wildly after the exhilaration of coming down the mountain at insane speeds. It was one of the happiest memories Cody had of his father who had taken them snowboarding as a belated birthday gift just after the twins had turned fifteen. There was just one problem with the picture though… Kurt Martin was supposed to be standing behind his sons, a hand on each of their shoulders smiling at the camera as he was having a good time himself and was pleased that the boys thoroughly enjoyed his gift, but he wasn't there.

He set it back down and combed his fingers through his hair. Honestly there was a logical explanation for this. He just had to give it some thought. Cody wondered with mild curiosity whether or not he'd gone completely crazy and needed to be committed to a mental health institution with white padded walls. Shaking off the fantasy Cody made his way out of the bedroom, thinking that he might come closer to figuring things out if he talked to his mother…assuming that she hadn't disappeared too. She hadn't.

"Mom, can you schedule and appointment with Dr. Calloway for me?" Cody asked on inspiration, wondering what advice and insight his psychiatrist might offer.

"Who?" Carey asked, a confused expression plastered on her face. He groaned inwardly, realizing that the good doctor had probably vanished too.

"Dr. Calloway, my psychiatrist?"

"Cody I know Zack's death hasn't been easy on you, but we both agreed to give you a chance to sort everything out by yourself before we started looking for doctors," Carey explained matter of factly, coming up with the perfect story as to explain why the man had never existed.

"What about the anti-depressants he prescribed me?" Cody countered, determined to shoot holes in her story. He went over and started looking through the stuff on the counter and then in the upper cabinets of the kitchen. There was no sign of the happy pills…

"You aren't on any Cody…What are you looking for?" He didn't bother answering her as his search stopped at the cabinet above the refrigerator. Inside was the metal container that held Zack's ashes. His mother had stashed it away in there because she said that it was still too painful to see it. She planned to create a little memorial shrine type of thing for Zack one of these days, filled with pictures on him, his childhood artwork, handcrafted wooden creations from shop class, his favorite toys including the autographed skateboard he'd treasured along with the ashes in a handsome vase as the center piece.

Cody unscrewed the canister amid his mother's surprise and plea for him to stop. He peered into the nearly full container, judging that it held about two thirds of Zack's ashes. It should have been much emptier with a third scattered to the winds over the Smokey Mountains and a third in his father's possession. It must be true then… Kurt Martin must never have existed in the boy's life…

Although the evidence was clearly in favor of Carey's explanation, Cody just couldn't help feel that there was something wrong about all of this. He just couldn't forget about the man he had called 'Dad' for seventeen years just like that. Cody resealed the metal container and replaced it in the cabinet determined to get to the bottom of what was going on. Outside the Tipton, the bad weather grew more intense by the hour. It was going to be one stormy night, just like the night the ship had sunk.

* * *

**A/N:** Thus the twist has begun. Is Cody finally going crazy or is there something more sinister afoot? I hope you all enjoyed, please let me know!

Until next time!


	7. Shutting Down

**Chapter 7**

**"Shutting Down"**

_I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old.  
I said these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
I'm going home._

_"Home" by Daughtry _

"I'm not crazy…" Cody whispered to himself from where he was sitting on his bed, knees drawn up protectively against his chest and arms wrapped around them. He was slowly rocking back and forth watching the storm outside grow darker, allowing his mind try to sort itself out. After looking through the cabinets in the kitchen he had left the Tipton and wandered over to the bookstore a couple of blocks away, hoping to find something on psychology that he could read and use to help him piece together what was going on since he apparently never had a real psychologist.

Along the way to the store, Cody noticed a very curious thing. The world seemed like it was smudged out, as if the entire city was a freshly painted canvas that someone had just spilled water on making the colors blur and run together. Then there were the people…

Black suit, gray suit, shirt and shorts, shirt and pants, male, female…Cody couldn't seem to recall anything more than that the moment he turned away from the people he looked at. It was as if he couldn't see their faces…and then there was also the nameless automobiles that all looked the same except for the color…Street signs offered no help as he couldn't remember what they said the instant he looked away from them. He simply couldn't remember important details…

Cody had fled back home after that giving up his interest in acquiring a book for the sanctuary that the Tipton provided. Here at least the world was still in focus, people had faces and he felt safe. Presently he was hiding from the world in his bedroom thinking about what all was going on.

There wasn't anything wrong with him…there couldn't be! Not after what he'd seen when he had been outside earlier. Cody just knew that he wasn't crazy because here he was using rational thought and applying logic to his observations. Either the whole world was messed up or his own perception of the world was the problem. Did he have some kind of brain damage that was causing this? Maybe something from the night of the accident? No that couldn't be right Cody mused, knowing that any problems with his head would have been found when he'd gotten a cat scan at the hospital after arriving back in the States and also that any problems should have shown up sooner. It might be a strange side effect of the anti-depressants, but then again Cody had to wonder if he had ever really taken any of them considering the fact that he had supposedly never gone to Dr. Calloway.

A brief flash of memory intruded on his thoughts and Cody suddenly had to relive the most horrible moment in his life, an event even worse than seeing his brother drown. Fresh out of the hospital, Carey Martin had been ready to take Cody home when they were asked to identify Zack's body. _"Maybe you shouldn't come…"_ Carey had started to say, but the pained look Cody gave her immediately silenced her. He stood there with his mother as they looked down upon Zack's lifeless body, his skin pale and waxy, after he'd been pulled up along with the bodies of dozens of other victims by Coast Guard divers the morning after all of the living had been rescued. Despite what had happened to him and where he now was in the cold spartan hospital morgue, Zack sort of looked angelic and at peace with the world.

Cody envied his brother's peace for he wished that he could share in it. He'd been tormented for months by the dreams and the daily reminders at home and at school of the twin he no longer had. Why did Zack die? Why couldn't it have been him instead? He fought the sudden urge to throw up and instead took several shuddering breaths as his entire body shook.

"I'm. Not. Crazy," Cody whispered, emphasizing each word, before the next memory slammed into him. He was holding onto a piece of floating wreckage and miraculously Bailey was there alongside of him. Together they had held on for dear life for what seemed like hours in the icy waters of the northern Atlantic before the Coast Guard came to their rescue. Cody remembered that he tried to help her into the harness, but his hands and arms were so numb and stiff that he couldn't do anything right. It was the rescue diver who had managed to get Bailey safely strapped in and hauled up to safety while Cody just watched wondering if they would move on, abandoning him like he had abandoned his own brother.

Bailey was rescued and taken to her hotel room where Cody joined her after dinner to watch a movie. One thing had led to another and they had ended up having sex, the most amazing thing Cody had ever experienced. It was funny how warm and soft Bailey was when a moment ago she had been pulled from the ocean, cold as ice and drenched from head to toe. What the hell was he thinking about? Cody's mind snapped back to the present and out of the realm of disjointed memories that were running together. They somehow didn't feel real anymore, even though he had experienced them.

"I'm. Not. Crazy," Cody whimpered, hot tears leaking from the corners of his eyes and running down his cheeks. He was so tired that he just wanted to give up and go to sleep…but he couldn't go to sleep! If he did, the dreams would return to torment him. The storm outside was getting intense. It was pitch black outside except for the flashes of lightning and loud booms of thunder. It was happening again…Cody pulled his legs tighter against his chest and waited for whatever was going to happen.

* * *

When Cody awoke from a dreamless sleep later on, he was momentarily confused by the near complete darkness of his surroundings. He definitely wasn't in his bed where he should have been. Instead he was lying on the living room floor judging by the feel of the carpet and his head was propped up and resting against something warm and firm. One of his senses was working overtime and he tuned into it, trying to figure out what it was… He smelled… He smelled Bailey?

"What…?" Cody managed to croak, his throat sore. He blinked several times as though this would help him see better in the darkness. A soft hand gently ran through his hair and then caressed the side of his face.

"You're ok Cody, I'm right here," Bailey whispered from the darkness above him. She was very close, in fact Cody then realized that his head was in her lap. Despite everything bad that was happening to him, at least he still had her. She was his anchor, and with her Cody knew that he could overcome any difficulty.

"Why is it so dark?" He felt his left hand get pulled into the embrace of two others. The two hands felt different than Bailey's, but of course they should since they belonged to his mother. So she was here with him as well. He felt loved inside and the warmth from the touches of both women that he loved in different ways kept all of his personal demons at bay.

"The power is out honey," Carey answered him, her voice just loud enough to cut through the howling wind outside and the downpour of rain coming down on the hotel's roof and slapping against the sides of the building. An odd answer if he had ever heard one…Cody knew that the Tipton had several massive generators in the basement that could power the hotel at a reduced capacity independent of the electric grid for several days if necessary. He also knew that the power would never be coming back on. This was the same storm that had sunk the mighty S.S. Tipton and robbed Zachary Martin of his life. Now it was coming to finish what it started by leveling the Tipton Hotel and putting Cody Martin into the grave. Despite maintaining to himself that he wasn't crazy, Cody had to admit that he sure fit the bill thinking that the storm was alive and intent on vengeance.

"Mom, what's going on?" He was freezing and his breaths not only misted the air, but also seemed to draw in less air than usual. Cody shivered vehemently, the entire time hoping his mother would tell him that everything would be alright, while Bailey tried to comfort him and warm him up. Unfortunately his mother would disappoint him.

"There isn't much time Cody…" Carey whispered softly.

"What do you mean there isn't much time? Time for what?" Cody asked almost hysterically before sitting up and turning to face them in the almost complete darkness, "Mom! Bailey! What is going on?"

"It's time to go. I love you Cody," Carey said, embracing him momentarily before he pulled away from her confused and angry.

"Time to go? No! You're staying right here with me mom," Cody pleaded, his anger turning to fear of abandonment. Everything else in his life was gone, what would he do if the woman who had given birth to him suddenly vanished too?

"Cody…" Bailey pulled close and kissed him. He held the kiss for a moment before he forced himself back, "I love you Cody…" He turned to look at his mother's silhouette only to find that she wasn't there. With a start Cody realized that Bailey was gone as well.

Everyone he loved…

Everyone he cared about…

Everything that he held dear to him…

All gone…

He was alone…

Cody let his body fall back onto the floor and he lay there in shock, too overwhelmed to fall asleep and too exhausted to cry or feel sad. The storm grew louder and the darkness pressed in closer, making it hard to breathe. It was unbearably cold…

Then something strange happened. He felt heat radiating from nearby and Cody sat up, turning his head towards the suite door where there was golden light shining into the dark room through the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor. The howl of the storm seemed to recede to mere background noise.

Cody scrambled to his feet, his fight or flight response working overtime pumping adrenaline through his body as he started intently at the door. There was enough light in the room now that he could see the handle begin to turn. Sweat beaded on his forehead and ran down his back. He had a funny feeling that if the door was opened, then there was no going back. Something would change forever and it was a change that he wasn't ready to accept. The handle twisted with agonizing slowness and then the door was pushed open, admitting the beautiful person wrapped in golden light into the room.

"Hey Cody," The angel greeted, smiling warmly at him.

* * *

**A/N:** BAM! Cliffhanger! Now the question…is Cody dreaming again or is this really happening to him? So many questions…so few answers…

Speculate away, because I'm not telling you yet! The next chapter will reveal all. Hope you enjoyed this one, please let me know =)


	8. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

I just wanted to let all my readers know that while I may not start any more stories for the foreseeable future, I will be making an effort to finish the ones that are currently flapping in the wind. It may take awhile to accomplish this, but I really want to finish what I've started. I was hoping to have Somnium finished sooner, but I just didn't feel up to writing during my last couple of weeks in the States. Sorry about that =/

I'm in the Army and my unit is deploying to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom later today, September 1st 2009, for the usual twelve months. We may come back early depending on how things turn out over there or we might end up moving to Afghanistan if things get worse over there (I'm sure you've all seen the news of the ground commanders there wanting even more troops...). It's going to be one hell of a year and I hope to not only get the most out of this life changing experience, but also use as much of my downtime as possible to work on my own novel that I plan to finish in the next couple of years (It's what I based The Chaos Demons and Reflections In Time off of, but much more detailed/rich and as original as possible - trying to avoid cliches). As a side project I'll work on finishing my TSL stories when my buddies and I aren't doing other stuff during our downtime.

Don't worry about me, I trust the guys I serve with and we'll have pretty good living conditions. We'll definately be able to call home a lot and hop on the internet to do what I normally do and post any updates if I have them finished.

Will try to keep my profile updated a little, might throw in an Army pic for fun in the avatar.

So, thanks for everything: especially Wyntirsno, tiger002 and Hurricane13 - your reviews and messages have helped driven me to write more, write better and finish what I start. That really goes for everyone as well! Appreciate it!

Next time I post an update or message you I'll be half way around the world. Cya then everyone!


	9. Death

**Chapter Eight**

"**Death"**

_How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away_

Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again  
"Untitled" by Simple Plan

"Hey Cody," The angel greeted smiling warmly at him. He had to squint his eyes in order to better see as he was nearly blinded by the golden light. Almost as if reading his mind, the angel's light greatly diminished so that Cody could see him better. There were no wings or a halo, just an ordinarily dressed young man with a soft glow of light around him. What he was seeing…it just wasn't possible.

"Cody?" The angel repeated his name, stepping into the room and stopping a few feet away from him. Cody just stared at his mirror image, not comprehending what he saw until a sheepish grin spread across the angel's face. His heart beat faster and his spirits soared.

"Zack?"

"It's really me Codes," Zack reassured him. Before he let his logical mind get to work, Cody stepped forward and embraced his twin brother, surprised at how warm and real he felt. His heart ached from the pang of hope that he felt, knowing that that hope would most likely be crushed.

"But you drowned…" Cody whispered as tears of shame ran down his cheeks at the thought of how he had let go of Zack in order to save himself.

"So I did, and yes Cody I am very much dead…" There it was…The hope Cody had felt for a few brief seconds that his brother might somehow be alive was crushed. Zack's tone conveyed no blame either which only further increased Cody's self loathing.

"Then how…?" His logical mind suddenly took over and he broke away from his dead brother, peering at him curiously.

"I came back like this to help you," Zack answered gesturing at his body, the soft golden glow surrounding him briefly flickered brighter in response.

"Help me?" How could Zack, who was dead, help Cody? Why would he want to? Cody was the one who had sealed his fate after all… That was when he was shocked to see Zack's face morph into an anguished expression and tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes.

"You're dying Cody."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are Cody. You're drowning even now." Zack looked away and out the window. Cody followed his gaze and saw a deluge of rainwater racing past outside. They must be in the thick of the storm now.

"What?" Cody was baffled by this…How could he be drowning if he were right here safe and dry on the twenty third floor of the Tipton?

"Your mind refuses to let go of life and it has created this illusion in which it can live in."

"No, no that's not possible." It went against everything Cody knew about death. He had heard of people seeing their life flash before their eyes just before they died, but he had never heard of anything like this. Zack was trying to tell him that he was dying and his mind had constructed a fantasy world for him to live in?

"Always my rational little brother," Zack chuckled softly before returning to his serious tone, "Think about it, the dreams you've been having, the depictions of your own death entering your thoughts at random, everyone vanishing and everything in the world growing dark around you. Your life is almost gone and your body and mind are shutting down from the lack of oxygen."

"NO!" Cody stumbled backward and sat down heavily on the floor. He didn't want to believe it, but the more he thought about it, the more it seemed that Zack was telling him the truth. He had no other explanation for how everyone else had disappeared. Zack sat down next to him and hung his head.

"Our lives are over Cody…"

* * *

"Does it hurt?"

"Dying?"

"Yes."

"Not really. It's just like going to sleep after a really long day." Zack explained thoughtfully from where he sat on the couch with Cody beside him, leaning his head on the older twin's shoulder. Cody had suddenly found himself becoming very tired and he felt worn out. It was also getting harder to breathe…probably a sign that his real body was starved of oxygen.

"Zack I'm so sorry I let go of you…I wanted to save you,"

"You couldn't have saved me. Stop beating yourself up over it."

"Okay…So what happens now?" Cody dropped the subject by asking the one question that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer too.

"We wait for the end." Zack said simply.

"Will you stay with me?"

"I've been by your side for your entire life. I'm not about to leave you now…"

* * *

Minutes passed in silence, Cody felt like several hours had gone by. He decided to talk again as he was now fighting to stay awake, his eyelids were growing extremely heavy.

"Zack…I love you."

"I know Codes, I know. Rest now, I'll be here when you wake up. Zack said softly, his voice was so soothing to hear that it nearly put him to sleep by making him completely relax. He yawned for several seconds, his eyes closing.

"What happens when I…?" Cody never finished the question as his voice trailed off into an incoherent mumble and his body completely relaxed against his brother's. Zack sat there for a moment longer as Cody's reality collapsed, the storm destroying everything around him, and watched as he drew his last breath in the fantasy world before lying still. The warm tears that had been threatening to fall from his eyes for what seemed like forever finally washed over his cheeks as Zachary said goodbye to his baby brother in the instant before everything vanished into darkness.

* * *

"Hey wake up!" Cody opened his eyes slowly, expecting the light to blind him or wake up feeling groggy. Neither of these things happened though as he sat up in a warm and comfortable bed. Before he had an opportunity to look around and figure out where he was at, Zack came into his field of view looking completely normal now without the golden light around him. In fact he looked ready to hit the beaches judging by how he was dressed in swimming trunks, a colorful red Hawaiian shirt, flip flops and a pair of sunglasses resting just above his forehead in his hair.

"Zack?" He rolled his eyes as though Cody had said something stupid.

"Get dressed sleepyhead, it's time to leave." Zack instructed. It was time to leave? Where were they going? Cody was deeply confused…Was he dead now or was this just another one of his fantasies? Then the other part of Zack's instructions registered as Cody realized that he was fully naked under the bed sheets and looking around the spartan room he saw no clothes.

"But there's no clothes…" Cody replied, looking around the room again thinking he might have missed seeing them. Zack rolled his eyes again and grinned sheepishly from where he stood in the doorway.

"You can wear whatever you want, just visualize it. How about the blue Hawaiian shirt like mine that mom sent you and your favorite pair of swimming trunks?" Cody immediately remembered wearing that attire the last time he had gone swimming in the pool on the S.S. Tipton. Instantly he found his favorite beach clothing on his body. Intrigued by this he got out of bed and found a pair of comfortable sandals waiting for him on the floor and a pair of expensive cool looking sunglasses on the nightstand beside the bed. Cody put them on and turned to Zack.

"How do I look?"

"You look like a dork," Zack replied, using the same inflection in his voice as he used to when he was twelve and that was his favorite thing to say to his twin. Cody grinned and followed his brother out of the room. It was just like old times.

"So where are we going?" Cody wondered aloud as Zack led him through a modest looking house and out the front door, "Better yet, what is this place?"

"This is the real world Codes, no more fantasies. We're in California right next to the beaches," Zack explained, gesturing off to his left where Cody saw the vast expanse of blue-green water that was the Pacific Ocean. He stood there a moment taking in the view of the waves crashing against the beach where all manner of people crowded enjoying the afternoon under the sun. Eventually Zack tapped him on the shoulder and motioned him to follow. Cody soon found himself standing in front of a payphone.

"What are we doing here?"

"I thought you might like to say goodbye to mom."

"But it's been two months since the accident!" Cody protested, partially amazed that even dead he could make a phone call and also horrified at the thought of what he would put his mother through if she suddenly picked up the phone and talked to the son she had grieved over for two months. Zack simply shook his head.

"That was your mind's fantasy world Cody. The ship just sank and we just died a few minutes ago in the real world," Zack contradicted him before picking up the phone and handing it to Cody.

"Are we allowed to do this? I mean we're ghosts right?"

"Allowed? No, but when have we always followed the rules?" Cody shrugged and dialed the number for his mother's cell phone. Zack touched his shoulder gently as the phone started ringing and he looked back questioningly at his brother.

"We're angels Cody, not ghosts. Ghosts are people who left behind unfinished work and are unable to let go of their old lives. Angels are good people who lived life to its fullest and have no regrets about dying." Cody processed this information for a few seconds before he heard the phone pickup.

"Hello?" Carey Martin asked and Cody felt his heart ache, knowing that he would never again be able to see and embrace his mother again.

"Hey mom, it's Cody."

"Hi sweetheart! You guys must want something huh? You don't call that often and now both of you in the same day," Carey said in a happy tone. He knew that she wasn't mad at them, rather she felt loved by her children. Cody hated the fact that she would soon find out the horrible truth…

"Cody are you ok?" He realized that he had been unable to speak, leaving a long pause in their conversation.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine now."

"Did you need something honey?"

"I just wanted to call and…" What? What was he supposed to tell her? 'Hi mom, my body's dead in the northern Atlantic ocean, but I'm an angel now and I'm calling you from sunny California?' It sounded so absurd when he thought about it.

"I understand, you just wanted to talk to me right?" How did mothers always know? What he really wanted more than anything was to just talk to her, but he just didn't know what to say…

"Yeah…I just wanted to tell you that I'm doing fine now and I'll be alright because Zack's with me."

"What are you trying to say Cody?" Her voice became full of concern as she picked up on the way Cody had said he was fine and with Zack.

"I'm saying…I'm saying that I love you more than anything mom and that I wanted to tell you goodbye…" He felt like crying, but no tears would come.

"Cody what are you…?" Carey started to ask before Cody hung up the phone. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't tell her the horrible truth that her boys were dead and that they were calling her from their icy ocean graves. Cody turned to look over at Zack for guidance, but found none with his brother's back turned to him. He stood a short distance away looking out at the ocean, hands jammed into the pockets of his swimming trunks, shirt and hair rippling in the gentle breeze.

"Why don't I feel horrible about this whole ordeal?" Cody asked, deciding to join his twin and stand next to him.

"I told you Cody, angels have no regrets about dying. We lived good lives which were full of people who truly loved us. There's nothing for us to cry over."

"Seems kind of heartless…" Cody mumbled.

"Not really. Sooner or later those people will join us and we will all be reunited again. Speaking of reunions…" Zack trailed off, turning his head to look down the small road they stood next too. When Cody turned to look he felt his heart skip a beat, if that was what that was anyway, as his eyes gazed upon the beauty of Bailey.

"Zack?" Cody asked tentatively as she approached them.

"The Tipton is the worst oceanic disaster in history, few survived." So Bailey was dead like them…She made a really beautiful angel Cody couldn't help thinking.

"Cody Martin, it's about time!" Bailey teased as she came forward and wrapped him up in a hug before pulling back slightly to kiss him on the lips.

"I love you Bailey," Cody blurted out when she released the amazing kiss. She smiled in a way only women can.

"I know you do and I love you too you goof."

"So what happens now?" Cody asked, looking from Bailey to Zack and back again.

"Now we help other angels accept their deaths and we can also have a little fun together. When we're ready, we'll move on." Zack answered coolly walking down toward the beach. Cody and Bailey followed and soon they were walking in the warm sand, everyone around them totally oblivious to their presence.

"Move on?" Cody inquired as Bailey's hand found his.

"The next life Cody," Bailey explained softly, "We can stay like this forever or we can have another go at life." He was momentarily speechless as he came to grips with that piece of information. He could live again if he wanted to or he could stay with Zack and Bailey forever?

"You don't have to decide anything right now, just enjoy this beautiful day at the beach," Zack said, reading his twin brother's reaction. Zack was right, Cody thought, it was definitely a beautiful day to be at the beach.

* * *

_Something went wrong aboard the SS Tipton during a ferocious storm in the northern Atlantic Ocean while returning from touring Europe which resulted is the worst disaster in the history of ocean going vessels. There were almost no survivors as the ship rapidly sunk, trapping hundreds inside and drowning hundreds more as those who were able to get off the ship in time were pulled under in the Tipton's wake. Many of the survivors who made it out and far enough away succumbed to the freezing waters before the U.S. Navy and Coast Guard rescuers reached the scene._

_Zack and Cody Martin were among the trapped passengers inside of the ship, but unlike most they were lucky enough to have found an air pocket allowing them to breathe even as the massive ship rapidly sunk. The boys managed to get outside of the Tipton and made a break for the surface, but they don't realize just how far down they already were and with the Tipton's wake pulling them down, they never reach the surface. Zack drowns first and a minute later Cody starts to fade from oxygen deprivation himself. _

_People who have had near death experiences say that life flashes before their eyes, but in Cody's case his mind created a fantasy world that allowed him to live two months in that one minute between his brother's death and his own. Cody's world falling apart around him is just his mind's way of responding to how his body is shutting down and how he is getting closer to the end of his life. When everything goes dark he is visited by his brother, now an Angel, who helps him face the end._

_With the twins now accepting that their lives are over, they are able to move on as Angels to help other good people leave their old lives behind and also enjoy each other's company. Carey Martin is absolutely devastated…Kurt Martin and Maddie Fitzpatrick, who put her college on hold, came to comfort her and be there with her for the funeral of not only her sons, but London and Moseby as well. _

_Carey left the Tipton soon after, unable to work at a place where there were so many good memories and feeling that the place was empty without all of the people she had loved. She got back together with Kurt, the only family she really had left, and they lived a peaceful life together. They made a memorial for Zack and Cody when they settled down in Pennsylvania, advocated better safety measures and regulations for commercial transports and eventually became speakers for child safety in addition to helping people get through the same grief that they experienced in the wake of losing a child. _

_Carey probably would never have gotten out of her depression if she hadn't noticed one little fact a couple of months after the accident. After the preliminary investigation was done, she knew the exact time that the massive ship had sunk. The Tipton had gone down at 6:15pm Eastern. Zack and Cody had both called her to tell her that they loved her and that they wanted to say goodbye at 6:19pm and 6:23pm respectively. How had they called her? Surely there was no phone reception out there in the middle of the ocean, especially when the ship was underwater at that time…_

_She could never figure it out, but she didn't care how it had happened. All that she cared about was that her baby boys had called her to say goodbye and tell her that they loved her. Something Cody had said always nagged Carey in the back of her mind though. He had said that he was fine __**now**__ and that he would be alright because he was with Zack __**now**__. It sounded almost like he was calling her from the grave, but that was a preposterous idea._

_Still, Carey wondered what had happened to Zack and Cody. Did they move on to the next life? Did they simply cease to exist? Were they still around in some way? She wondered because several nights when she found it hard to sleep, she could have sworn that there was someone in the room with her telling her 'good night' and resting a comforting hand against the side of her face which lulled her to sleep. Carey would awaken the next morning not sure if it had all been a dream or not._

* * *

**A/N:** Somnium of Nex (Latin, meaning: Dream of Violent Death)

Well there you have it, the long awaited ending to the story. It's tragic in a way that the twins couldn't be saved, but uplifting knowing that they are well and happy in their new existence.

I'm honestly not sure what exactly inspired this story, but it all started because I wanted to write an original tragedy in which both twins died, but wasn't immediately recognizable as such. I also wanted to give it a surprise twist which I accomplished with Cody's dream world and an uplifting ending whereby we see Zack and Cody in a happy setting with endless possibilities spread out before them.

I wanted to include an epilogue to bring closure to the story, but I didn't think it could stand on its own as a chapter, so I attached it to the end of the story and I think it fits there for reading everyone and thanks for reviewing! I love hearing from you all! I'm keeping my profile here updated with news about my travels in Iraq so keep checking there if you wanna see how I'm doing.

My next project is called "Truth Seeker", it's a prequel to "The Chaos Demons". Once Somnium has had it's final fifteen minutes of fame I'll start publishing it here. The prologue and two chapters are finished already, and it's really good if I do say so myself.

Until then, keep it real.

~ Kulmanari


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